In about 12 hours Carl Pates is going to land in Australia.

I'd like a creative list of things we can do to make his arrival in Australia memorable.

Gary Gnu? Any suggestions?

Eric

Make sure he has 24 access to tomatoes and pizza - and Morning Dew - he's a programmer and these form his staple food groups.

Well with the exception of tomatoes and pizza that is…

and Eric? The taste…

A few suggestions to aquaint him with the 'real' Australia.

Pack the car he's picked up in with flies - just to get him acclimated in case he goes anywhere near the outback. Since it's at or near the beginning of the dry, that would be more appropriate than mosquitoes since they only blanket the outback during the wet.

You could also put a liberal supply of termites in the car, for the same reason. In case people don't know, from Townsville on the East coast to a little town called Three Way (between Darwin and Adelaide) there are termite mounds, from 1 to 10 feet tall, about every 15 feet as far as you can see on the 2,500 km journey.

Lastly, throw a few box jellyfish in the swimming pool at the hotel, just to make swimming more interesting. Maybe a saltie, also. Perhaps there'll even be a Shirley or two at the pool.

The best thing, however, is that he can finally drink 8% Guiness Stout whilst throwing another shrimp on the barbie. (sorry, just had to put the last part in)

Good on ya for making him feel welcome, mate.

Thanks for the advice. We don't have Morning Dew here - what is it, and what is a reasonable substitute? Will crushed avocado suffice?

Flies? No wukkas. You've obviously experienced the true Oz, Larry. Here beer comes in 2 liter bottles, it's 100 degrees in the shade,

and the blowflies are still flying around with fond memories of yyour visit here. Air France is soon to commission a few blowies for their air fleet.

Eric

For God's sake don't let him get to Aussie beer. It'll be the end of your country and perhaps continent. Guiness is a good choice, but if you can smuggle some Rolling Rock in that'll do as well.

Don Miller

C3 Inc.

Prawns, not shrimp!

G'Day g'day g'day possums!

You guys down under don't have *real* Mountain Dew!!!! It's got no ?£%^& caffine in it!!! I've been cheated! Cheated I say!

(Still there's lotsa wallabies and roo's and raptors and cool stuff ( oh yeah and very tame Emus.. .. emu steaks… now there's a thought.. ]-) )

Mr C's 3 rools of food …

1) Never eat anything bigger than your head

2) Never eat anything that looks like you just brought it back up

3) Never eat anything with tomatoes in it.

See why I won't touch pizza?

Love from Down Under …

Captain C(ook?)

USS Sprezzatura, NCC 1701 and a bit…

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I'm still waiting at the airport - you must have entered the country "freight class". I'm sending the dingos out after you.

Eric

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